LSNED

When I visited Buffalo, NY I was given a souvenir kazoo. Since 1912, they’ve been the promised land of kazoo making. Well, technically it’s the tiny town of Eden, just south of Buffalo, that is home to the Original American Kazoo Company.

Just to be safe, I will back it up here and explain what a kazoo is. (they don’t always teach this important stuff in schools, ya know) It’s an instrument. About four inches long. Looks kinda like a submarine. You hum (don’t blow) in one end so a little piece of wax paper will buzz.

Interesting to note, it’s technically classified as a membranophone, which other than the kazoo is a group entirely made up of drums. The fact is the kazoo is really a wax paper drum, but instead of hitting it the vibration is produced by your humming.

While the kazoo as we know it is an American invention (circa 1840s in Georgia) the concept goes back much, much further. The ancient ancestor of the kazoo, called a mirliton, goes back to the dawn of human kind.

A hollowed bone or horn with a hole in the middle would replace the plastic tube, and a skin or… get this… spider egg sac membrane(!) would take the place of wax paper. It’s original use was for special effects. The shaman would use it to create the unusual sound of other-worldly voices in religious ceremonies.

We’ve come a long way from that to this…

This recording by The Mound City Blowers from 1923 was the first ever to include a kazoo, and it sold a million copies.

Since the 20s, nobody has given the kazoo much credit. Despite it’s mystical roots, it’s now relegated to the realm of a toy. The most action it’s seen in the last century was with a special appearance on Eric Clapton’s “Unplugged” album.

• Source: The Kazoo – Physics, History, and Musical Importance

I’d like to start off by saying that a CD (compact disc) works very much like a vinyl record, but I’m afraid it would be almost as current to say a CD works much like a telegraph machine. Still, I’ll soldier on with my record analogy, since they both store music (data) in a very similar fashion.

The music on a CD is recorded onto a path (a “groove” in vinyl-speak) that spirals around the disc for about five kilometers. Opposite to a record, the spiral starts in the center of the disc and winds it’s way out. In order to keep things moving at a steady pace, the disc spins at 500 RPM when it’s reading near the center, and slowly decreases to 200 RPM as it gets to the outer edge. The stream of data on the path remains constant.

The groove on a vinyl record is analog; a series of detailed bumps wherein the larger the bump the louder the noise. On a CD, the digital data is recorded in a binary form, meaning a series of zeros and ones, either off or on. A laser beam is focused onto the track, which reflects back from the shiny aluminum surface of the disc. Reflecting back is a one… “on”. To record data, a stronger laser has burned a little pit onto the shiny surface. When the reading laser passes that pit, it does not reflect back, indicating a zero or “off”.

So the factually correct response to “Hey what do you think of this new Vanilla Ice album?” was indeed “It’s the pits“.

If you speed the process up to 44,100 of these reflection tests per second, we can start to hear the music. The binary signal of zeros and ones is read and translated back into analog music for our speakers to rock out.

Another interesting fact for those wanting to take good care of your CDs and DVDs… the shiny side of the disc is actually better protected than the label side. There’s more plastic protecting the shinyand fragile aluminum surface. So you’re better off to set the discs shiny-side down.

• Source: http://www.copy-cd.biz/technical-area/compact-discs-explained.jsp

This week there was a lot of hub-bub about “unfriend” becoming the new word of the year. I’ve got nothing against new words, but I do think about all the good old words that are getting pushed out. For example, I’m going to make an effort to this week to pay homage to the great word of the past… hunky-dory.

Hunky-dory is a slang phrase that basically means that something is good, in a safe, reliable way. So when “everything is hunky-dory” it means things are going well, but let’s not make a big fuss about it. It’s quite certain that the word is an American made term which popped up in the 1850s, however the original inspiration is still fuzzy.

A vaudeville entertainer by the name of Japanese Tommy took credit for introducing the term through his performances, but as the word became popular so quickly, it’s tough to nail down. He was definitely not Japanese, though… he was a black dwarf billed as being “three feet broad and three feet long”. He performed as a songster and contortionist, and generally made appearances as a “novelty”.

The word hunky is certainly of Dutch origin, as it started from honk meaning home or goal in a game of tag. (the equivalent of “home-free”) Eventually the it evolved to mean safe and good. The term hunker down comes form the same lineage, and in fact a couple decades before hunky-dory, the saying hunkem-bunkem was used to mean “okay”.

There may truly be a Japanese connection from the word dori to mean a main street. In Yokohama there is a main thoroughfare called Honcho-dori that runs through the center of town down to the port. As sailors arrived, they’d be able to find all the good stuff on this strip. These American sailors, who first started arriving in Japan around 1850, would have known the word hunky already, so it’s not a big stretch to turn Honcho-dori into hunky-dori… “the good street”.

Wherever it started, the word was in popular use by 1868 when the hit-song “Josiphus Orange Blossom” was published. This was the day when a hit-song was measured by the sale of sheet music. It was a novelty song about a black man (a newly liberated slave at the time) who thought himself quite the ladies man.

My name it is Josiphus Orange Blossom,
I’m the gayest colored ge’man in the land.
With the pretty girls I always plays the possum.
I’m a red-hot hunky-dory contraband.

• Source: http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-hun2.htm

If you haven’t heard the name Django Reinhardt in the last 70 years, it’s about time you do. It’s not everyday an artist is able to create and define an entire genre with such mastery that now, over 60 years after his death, jazz guitarists are still trying to sound like him. Gypsy jazz, or in French, jazz manouche, has stayed with us and for the most part still lives in the 1920 – 1940 period in which it thrived.

And now, for your listening pleasure while you read, I present “Old Man River” played by Django Reinhardt, Stephane Grappelli, and the Hot Club de France!

When Django was 18 he was caught up in a fire that took away his left pinky and ring finger. They ended up permanently curled and unable to move. Despite this obvious handicap for a guitar player, who normally rely on their dexterous flying fingers to make the right notes in the right places, he spent his recovery time in the hospital with his guitar learning how to compensate. He managed just fine, resulting in a unique style that most four-fingered musicians cannot match.

His style of jazz played many “old standards” (even in the 1930s) with a quintet of only strings. He played lead guitar. There was usually two rhythm guitars, who essentially replaced the job of a drummer, and a stand-up bass. The other defining character of gypsy jazz, and equally talented, was the violinist Stephane Grappelli. The melodies were tossed back and forth between the violin and lead guitar, driven by la pompe (the pump) of the steady rhythm section.

It was called “gypsy jazz” because Django was indeed a gypsy living in France. That is, the Romani people more commonly known as gypsies. While they are usually on the pointy end of many negative stereotypes, they do accept the Gypsy moniker. (which originated from the inaccurate belief their ancestry came from Egypt) The musical influence of the Romani culture is very pervasive throughout Europe, not just in jazz, but the traditional music of Bulgaria and many other Slavic nations.

With the popularity of gypsy jazz, that influence has spread across the world with many, many imitators. You’ll find many inspired musicians performing as the “Hot Club of (insert town)”, and many groups and albums such as “Pearl Django”, “Django Lives” and the christmas album “Django Bells”.

• Source: http://www.dougmartinguitar.com/gypsy_jazz.html
• Music: courtesy of http://www.archive.org/details/DjangoReinhardt-51-60
• More about the Gypsy people: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Romani_people

Yankee Doodle is probably the most famous song from American history. Sing along with me now… let me hear you in the back!

Yankee Doodle went to town
Riding on a pony,
Stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni.

Yankee Doodle keep it up,
Yankee Doodle dandy,
Mind the music and the step,
And with the girls be handy.

Although this song is revered as a part of American culture, its original intent was to make fun of Americans! If we dissect the words it reveals some interesting facts about the origin of this song.

The word Yankee may have come from Dutch colonists in the new world, referring to their colonial British neighbours. The Dutch nickname Janneke (the J is pronounced as a Y), translates to “Johnny” and would have been used in the same respect as “Jack”, or “Buster” when talking to a stranger. Another theory suggests it originates with the Cherokee word eankke, meaning coward. Either way… not very nice.

Doodle is another not-so-nice term, meaning the same thing as country bumpkin, hillbilly, or hick. So we have this Johnny guy who has the nerve to ride into town on a donkey. What an un-cultured oaf! But wait, there’s more… This Yankee Doodle fellow is soooo un-cultured… (how un-cultured is he?) …He dares stick a feather in his cap and call that macaroni? Oh, this is ripe for parody.

The macaroni in question has nothing to do with pasta. Rather, macaroni was a popular British term of the era used to describe men who took fashion to ridiculous heights. Also known as fops, popinjays, or dandies (which comes into our song in the chorus), they would typically be known for their extravagant dress and comically tall powdered wigs. (they often required a stick to remove their hats) The modern day equivalent, though not near as extreme, would be called a metrosexual.

The song dates back to the Seven Years’ War between France and Britain in North America, where American colonists (who technically weren’t quite Americans yet) fought alongside British soldiers. This song was originally sung by the British to poke fun at their colonial counterparts who were seen as scruffy, disorganized and generally not near as culturally sophisticated as the Europeans.

Throughout the years the specific verses changed to meet the needs of the singer, often becoming a parody of a specific event. In the American Revolutionary war, the song was changed by the British to become more aggressive and taunting against the Americans, but was soon flipped around and used to taunt right back.

One things is for sure, guys. Feathers in caps equals fashion faux-pas.

• Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yankee_Doodle

I’m declaring “casual Friday” again, and what’s more casual than a sing-along? It seems that the science-folk genre just isn’t what it used to be, so I’m bringing it back to the limelight. Back in 1959 Tom Glazer teamed up with Dottie Evans to record a series of albums called “Singing Science”. Their little ditties covered a wide range of topics from “Constellation Jig” to “A Thumbnail Sketch of Atomic Energy”.

You probably even know Tom Glazer, but you don’t know you know. His peak of commercial success came with a parody he wrote and performed entitled “On Top Of Spaghetti”, the tale of a lost meatball. The science songs were written by Hy Zaret, who brought home the bacon when he co-authored the mega-hit “Unchained Melody”. With a team like that, it’s no wonder the Singing Science albums were so awesome.

Taking inspiration from them, this morning I got out the ol’ guitar and am pleased to present, with huge apologies to Eva Cassidy, a science sing-along of my own composition…

(You can click above to play the song, or grab the MP3 file)

“Weight on the Water”

Put the water in the pot, then wait on the the water
turn on the burner so it gets hot, that’s how you boil the water

But what happens in that pan, while you wait on the water?
I’m gonna explain it the best I can about the boiling point of water

If you put some water on a plate, it will eventually evaporate
It goes from a liquid to gaseous state, just like boiling water

You see water always wants to boil, but it can’t. Its plans are foiled
by the crushing weight of the air above, that pops all the bubbles before they can get out of… the water

[insert science ramble because it's REALLY hard to make all the facts rhyme]

Now when you apply some heat, into the water
the vapor pressure and air pressure meet, as the pot gets hotter

Now the bubbles start to form, in the middle of the water
they rise up and take their vapor form, and that is boiling water

So there you have it, the facts are true, straight from a scientist, through me then to you
It’s a story of hope, of overcoming, it’s the story of boiling water

• Fact source: http://www.ccmr.cornell.edu/education/ask/index.html?quid=1316
• Thankfully, you can download (free!) many of the original Singing Science songs here: http://www.acme.com/jef/singing_science/

The fundamentals at work in any stringed instrument are rather simple. The only reason that a guitar might cost upwards of $500 bucks is because of its ability to produce a vibrant sound, its tonal vocabulary, and its aesthetic sensibilities. If we throw all such expectations out the window, we can make a perfectly acceptable instrument from junk found around the office.  Here’s what we need:

1. a rubber band, small to medium size.
2. any short solid object like a paperclip or pen cap that can fit across the bottom of…
3. a paper, plastic, or styrofoam cup.

The basic function of any musical instrument is to take a sound wave (vibration) and, assuming it’s not an electric instrument, use some acoustic amplification to make the sound audible to your adoring fans. The instrument we’re making today is modeled on the washtub bass, as seen in many jug bands.

Step 1: The cup will act as our resonating chamber to amplify the sound. Poke a small hole in the center of the bottom of the cup. (get mommy or daddy to help) It should be just big enough to poke one looped end of the rubber band through. The tighter fit, the better.

Step 2: Take your paperclip (or similar sized object) and slip it through the rubber band loop inside the cup. Pull the rubber band so the paperclip is held snug against the inside of the cup.

Step 3: With the bulk of the of rubber band hanging out the bottom of the cup, loop it over your thumb. Your other hand grips the cup tightly on the very edge around the bottom. Keep your fingers off the bottom and sides of the cup so as not to dampen the glorious sounds. Now stretch the rubber band tight between your thumb and the cup. (c’mon, tighter than that) With it looped over your thumb, that leaves your fingers free to pluck the rubber band. Stretching the band more or less will produce varying tones.

Step 4: Get down with your bad self.

Caution: This musical instrument does have a tendency to break and come zinging towards your eyeball. Especially during mad Elastiphone solos. Keep it pointed away from you and your bandmates.

• Source: Myself, discovered during the brief time I had a real honest-to-goodness office job