HOW-TO: make a musical instrument out of office supplies

The fundamentals at work in any stringed instrument are rather simple. The only reason that a guitar might cost upwards of $500 bucks is because of its ability to produce a vibrant sound, its tonal vocabulary, and its aesthetic sensibilities. If we throw all such expectations out the window, we can make a perfectly acceptable instrument from junk found around the office.  Here’s what we need:

1. a rubber band, small to medium size.
2. any short solid object like a paperclip or pen cap that can fit across the bottom of…
3. a paper, plastic, or styrofoam cup.

The basic function of any musical instrument is to take a sound wave (vibration) and, assuming it’s not an electric instrument, use some acoustic amplification to make the sound audible to your adoring fans. The instrument we’re making today is modeled on the washtub bass, as seen in many jug bands.

Step 1: The cup will act as our resonating chamber to amplify the sound. Poke a small hole in the center of the bottom of the cup. (get mommy or daddy to help) It should be just big enough to poke one looped end of the rubber band through. The tighter fit, the better.

Step 2: Take your paperclip (or similar sized object) and slip it through the rubber band loop inside the cup. Pull the rubber band so the paperclip is held snug against the inside of the cup.

Step 3: With the bulk of the of rubber band hanging out the bottom of the cup, loop it over your thumb. Your other hand grips the cup tightly on the very edge around the bottom. Keep your fingers off the bottom and sides of the cup so as not to dampen the glorious sounds. Now stretch the rubber band tight between your thumb and the cup. (c’mon, tighter than that) With it looped over your thumb, that leaves your fingers free to pluck the rubber band. Stretching the band more or less will produce varying tones.

Step 4: Get down with your bad self.

Caution: This musical instrument does have a tendency to break and come zinging towards your eyeball. Especially during mad Elastiphone solos. Keep it pointed away from you and your bandmates.

• Source: Myself, discovered during the brief time I had a real honest-to-goodness office job

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